Marion Haftel M. Ed, LMHC, LPC, NCC.
I have had people walk into my office and say to me, “You know, I don’t believe in this stuff”. I smile and say, “Great! Belief is not required!” Initially, this is true. Then a few sessions later, a person who may have come in reluctantly, referred by their doctor or a family member, will thank me for all my help. Results speak volumes.
So how does counseling or coaching work? First we look at the factors that are causing your distress. Sometimes this is obvious. Sometimes not so much. Then you, the client will tell me how you will know things are better. If you don’t know, we will figure that out together. Then we come up with a plan to get there, and Do The Plan. Counseling often looks at the past for the origin of problems that affect all areas of life in significant ways. Coaching is future oriented for people who have goals that are eluding them due to lack of focus or direction, or for people who realize progress is enhanced with feedback. Just like in sports, we improve your actions and results.
In either case, limiting beliefs are almost always addressed. Beliefs generate thoughts that create feelings and actions....and results you may not like. Change the belief, change the result! But beliefs are TRUE! Not necessarily. We get taught beliefs by family, friends, and society and gather evidence that makes them true. There are brain structures and processes that actually aid this along. It is meant to ensure survival. In the modern world it can work against us. “We are all affected by gravity” is a fact. “I must be perfect” is an example of an unhealthy belief that many people carry. For example, while doing your best is a good thing, demanding perfection of yourself is a sure path to misery.
By getting to know you and focusing on your goals, a great counselor or coach can ferret out unhealthy beliefs you hold that you may be unaware of. Sometimes simply bringing them to the light is enough to evoke changes for people. Sometimes simply making a plan to do something different, doing it and experiencing the pleasure of accomplishment is what we do together. We get results and it is awesome! Sometimes beliefs are stubborn. That is where additional processes, like EFT, are really helpful in rooting out and releasing the energetic ties that bind you more quickly and simply that anyone could imagine: freeing you to experience a more fulfilling and happier life.
This melding of addressing cognitive structures, looking at family systems when necessary and getting what you learn with your mind down into your heart so you can make changes that benefit you and your loved ones is how
I can help you step towards that more fulfilling life and keep going in your new and better direction.