Tools You Can Use Today

Congratulations on making a decision to improve your life! Choosing a helping professional who is a good fit for you or your loved one is important.  All mental health counselors who are licensed received a graduate degree and must continue to update their skills. This training is easily adapted to consulting or coaching which is designed for healthy people who want to pursue their goals efficiently by getting feedback and being held accountable for taking actions towards the improvements they want to make.

How often do you find yourself saying the word "need"?

It is not unusual for people who are stressed or anxious to use the word "need" more often than the average person. And you know what? It is probably making you feel even more anxious. Think about the word. Advertisers tell us we "need" things that we don't actually need every day to get us to buy things. But what do we really need?  Well we have to have air to breathe, food to eat, a roof over our heads. You get where I am going with this. These are the things we truly need and we have to have them to live. So the word "need" conjures up survival issues. Why do think you advertisers use it so much? There is nothing like survival to motivate a person to action. And motivation to action is great! But do you want to feel anxious and fearful in the process? Notice how it feels in your body when you say this word. Then try the same sentence with alternative words. It feels different doesn't it? And it probably feels better.

So here is my suggestion: Use those different words. The words you choose are important. They convey thoughts and thoughts create feelings. You can say I am going to do this, that or the other instead of I need to do whatever it is. Unless there is a hurricane within 24 hours of landfall in your location this is probably more accurate. Or you could substitute I want to do whatever it is, or I intend to or even I get to. Believe me when I first ran across this concept and put it into practice I was amazed how often I unnecessarily used the word "need". I was pausing to change the wording of my sentences pretty often!  It was like blazing a new trail through the woods instead of using the well worn one: a bit of a challenge. And just like the new trail, with use it got a lot easier and then automatic to use more accurate and less stress producing vocabulary. I felt a lot better. Practice this change and see if you too don't feel more relaxed by just changing your choice of words. Skip the word "need" unless it really is a matter of survival.

Your First Step To A Brighter Future
Marion Haftel M.Ed, LMHC, LPC, NCC